Wednesday Morning ShitStorm - 2006-12-20
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How 'bout some drama? - 2006-09-27
pic spam - 2006-09-27
small dissapointments
2003-03-19 - 10:42 a.m.
- so, someone rained on my parade. karma, god, someone.
my best friend was supposed to go to jbj with me tonight. her step dad is having surgery today. (i have mentioned this previously) so she just called and they still don't know what is going to happen but she is thinking the worst and said for me to go ahead and call someone else to go since she won't be "in the mood" to go tonight. now, i don't wish anything bad on anyone (mostly) but she has, in someway, forgot, backed out, blacked out or cancelled anything we have planned to do in the past like, 9 months. so now i am really dissapointed. not only that she is not going to be sitting next to me but that she has, yet again, found a way to not do something with me. her best friend of 14 years. is it just me? i am beginning to think so. am i wrong to feel hurt? i know her step dad is sick and all but this is just another in a long list of dissapointments where she is concerned. maybe if she had made an effort here in the past few months it wouldn't be a pig deal. i know there is stuff she doesn't tell me (but there is stuff i don't tell her either) if one of our mutual friends were to tell me to tell her "hi" i would do it. or if i saw or heard something that i thought she might be interested in knowing, i would pass it along. but no. these days, i am hearing all kinds of things from other people. things that they thought she would have told me. then they are all uncomfortable saying anything to me because they don't want to be the one telling me stuff. this is all fucked up.
and i am going to central market to get me the best salad ever from the best salad bar ever. and i am going to smoke like, 10 cigs while i am out. and i am going to leave at 5pm and i am going to snookies and i am going to drink at least one huge electric lemonade. and i am going to have fun tonight.
and i will think about my former best friend tomorrow. she's still my friend, don't get me wrong. i just guess i don't need a best friend. other than myself. i am my own best friend.
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